Monday, September 5, 2011

Our Deepest Fear

"Our Deepest Fear is not that we are inadequate,

Our deepest fear is that
We are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light,
Not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves
Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
Talented, and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the
Glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us;
it's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others."

-Nelson Mandela

Enough said. Internalize it and it will change your life. It changed mine.

Thursday, July 7, 2011

The Acid in Man

I wrote this one day when I got bored in one of my classes. I wrote it in about twenty minutes so its a little random and rambling but hey, whatever. :) Enjoy!

The Acid in Man
You're the acid in man.
The hate and the enraged.
The change in me when I slip.
You crush me when I'm down
My heart left to rip and bleed.

"Darker than night"
doesn't exist but
When you're around
It festers in the foul mists .
You are the darkness
The emptiness
In the human soul.

Be gone Evil Spirit,
leave me alone
You make my heart
Achingly cold, Ice.
I can't find solitude.
After inviting you I weep.
For with you there is
No thing as tomorrow.

I don't want to see you
It's no wonder why
you're the heart of deception
the king of pain
the acid in sorrow
and the drive behind greed
The need to get gain.

You come and death follows
Slithering in you're wake.
Good things shrivel and die
If their foundations you shake.
You strike those who try to love you
and attempt to destroy those who don't.

You think you can reach me
You think that you can.
You know me well,
Clever King of Rascality, I ban
You and your minions forever.
You know me well
So you know that
There's no stopping me.
No, I cannot be dammed
There's a rainbow for me to walk on
And it's obliterating the dark.

You're the end of the world
But I'm reaching for the never-ending.
I'm in the essence of sky
And You can't break eternity.
So you'll fall, you'll fail.
There's no way to stand.
I'm far too tall when I sit in his hand.
You can try and fail again and again.
And I promise you will fail.
And standing in the light
Pure and completely true.
The righteous will rise
to utterly destroy you.

In the sphere of a perfection
Found through a sacrifice.
We'll be conquerors for
He payed the price.
Through us His light will shine
And He will rise from the end.
You will wallow in misery
Your permanent destiny to dread.
Your quest will be over.
Lost your power over men.
And in triumphant glory and victory
He Will Rise Again.

Monday, May 30, 2011

I Hate to Wait

I never realized how incredibly impatient I am until the waiting truly began. The one thing I have set my heart on since I was very little seems so far off. I hate the possibility that it might take a long time for it to actually happen. How is it possible for years to be so terribly long? And yet, I have days when I wish that it were miles away. Perhaps that is why it has not come?

I've been told that its wonderful and I want it so badly. So much more than I ever used to. I'm doing everything that I can to get ready for it. Learning to clean, cook, behave as an adult, read my scriptures, say my prayers, play the part, put myself out there (one of the hardest.) And yet here I am. Now that I really stop to think it really hasn't been that long since I've been so ready. Which circles back around to my impatience. I can't help but wonder though. How Long? Seriously, how long is this going to take? Even talking about this I still quote stupid movies. This one is from Madagascar in case you were wondering.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

The Little Old Man and the Big Bad World

I made it through my first year of college and I can't believe it! What a truly crazy thing to think about. Not to mention the fact that many of my friends are gone to serve missions for the Lord and several of my girlfriends have gotten married. That's so weird!

Anyway, I went to the store recently and had an interesting experience with one of the employees. I was there with my mom and my brother Jacob. We were attempting to check out and had a chosen our little cashier stall thingy (I really don't know how to say that) and proceeded to complete our sales transaction. The man behind the cash register was this little old man that reminded me a lot of my crippled old grandpa. This little man and my mother went through this long charade while trying to get my mothers debit cards to work. She would use the little key pad and get it working while the flustered little man on the other end was pounding on his keys on the other side. Needless to say the transaction took a lot longer than it should have and in the end he left flustered and upset as did we.

My first thought even before the transaction became slightly embarrassing and drawn out was that the little gray man on the other side should not be working at the store. I am almost positive that he did not want to be there working in his tired age with his hearing aid dangling out of his ear. So why was he there? The simple answer is that he cannot afford to stay home. He has no money to retire. Now whether or not this was his own fault or a series sadly placed events I didn't know. All I knew is that he did not belong there. This was the time in his life when he should have been at home enjoying his time with his little white wife and little rambunctious grandchildren, not working at Walmart.

It left me feeling like Elizabeth Bennett from Pride and Prejudice when she said "the more I see of the world, the more I am dissatisfied with it." A sad but true quote. Now don't get me wrong. I find no fault with rolling hills and the beauty of tall mountains covered in trees. I find no unhappiness in small acts of kindness and genuine love. What I find sad is that a little old man must work at Walmart at a time in his life when his hearing is barely passable and his shriveled body can barely hold its own weight. I find the wars hard to swallow and decisions to cut pay to our soldiers less than a criminal offense. But we must take heart.

President Monson said "the future is as bright as our faith." We must move forward and be cheerful for the Lord lives and we have work to do! I fully intend to make what difference I can for people such as the little old man and other such employees as well as anyone with whom I come into contact with. My thought is that if I smile and make my transaction with anyone, specifically little old employees or even battered young ones, as uplifting and love-filled as I possibly can maybe I can give them hope that maybe life is not as bleak as it may seem at times. I fully intend to change the world one transaction at a time. Would you care to join me?

Image is from

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Seaweed Is great seaweed is fun, it gets it's food from the rays of the sun.

I was watching Finding Nemo recently and it just reminded me how much I absolutely love that movie. It's so... happy! I love the part when Dori is singing "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming." Such an amazing line! I decided at the beginning of this year that I was going to try my hardest to be happy with whatever I needed to do. It's incredible what a smile and a laugh can do for your self esteem, your happiness, and the happiness of those around you. Not to mention your increased ability to have the Spirit. It's such a great thing! Therefore, I submit this proclamation to all who will listen! (or rather read)

Don't Worry, Be Happy! Because even when there are worries, there are more joys than you can count. Even when there is darkness, there is the light of truth and the Spirit. And even when everything seems like it will never work, we have a Lord and Savior who has demanded otherwise of our destiny IF we will but turn our lives over to Him. There is much to be grateful for, so always remember what He has said to us. "Be of good cheer, it is I; Be not afraid" as well as "Be still and know that I am God!" (Matthew 14:27, Doctrine and Covenants 101:16)

Sunday, February 6, 2011

"Not All There" Turns Out to be the Best Thing for Me

I found this poem by Jack Prelutzky while I was attempting to do homework while I was battling a nasty cold. Needless to say I was completely indisposed at the time and quite insane. I realized that I really wasn't paying attention or even really coherent when I began searching for an article. Instead of typing "Educational Reform in Utah Schools" into the search box I typed "I don't like homework" because it was the thought running through my mind at the time. I immediately hit "enter" like I always do out of habit and before I knew what was happening a page filled with websites about hating homework had commandeered my monitor. My eyes fell on this poem and I started smiling like a mad woman. Here it is:

Homework, Oh Homework

Homework, oh homework I hate you, you stink.
I wish I could wash you away in the sink.
If only a bomb would explode you to bits,
homework oh homework you're giving me fits.

I'd rather take baths with a man-eating shark,
or wrestle a lion alone in the dark.
Eat spinach and liver, pet ten porcupines,
than tackle the homework my teacher assigns.

Homework oh homework YOU'RE LAST ON MY LIST.
I simply don't see why you even exist.
If you'd just disappear it would tickle me pink.
Homework oh homework I hate you, you stink.
-Jack Prelutzky

The strange thing is that it made it easier to finish my homework, so I am indebted to Jack for that. I really needed a motivator!

Tuesday, February 1, 2011


We all know that it's good for us. (Usually not cupcakes unless we are saddened or distressed.) We all know that we need to do it and that we do better in class if we actually put time into that homework. (Except for those crazy people who just get A's anyway.) It's incredible how many other things I can find that I need to do when I don't want to work on my homework. Suddenly I have to go clean my room, fix my keyboard, organize the bathroom, and play with my little brother. Yes, I confess! I am a horrible procrastinator. If there is time still left before something is due or before it has to be done then I am the first one to do it at the last minute. Why do it early when you can wait til the last minute and rush around like a mad college student trying to get everything done at once? Over and over I've seen how procrastinating causes me problems. It keeps me from going to that movie that I wanted to go to, it makes it so that I can't relax when I'm exhausted, and on many an occasion it causes the assignment to be late or worse. So why do I do it?

Mostly because it's a weakness. Partially because I can. The most important thing is that I'm getting better!! Someday I will not be lazy with my homework and I will get it done when it needs to be done instead of later. Therefore, I hereby declare that by the end of this semester I will no longer procrastinate my homework to the last second! I will have it done at least a day before and not the day of. Life will be fantastic. And I'm starting now! Which means I have to stop writing this blog and go work on it. Wish me luck!!

P.S. I'm also going to start making food that is good for me. Hence the awesome gluten free cupcake that my mom made for me!!! AWESOME!!!