Monday, February 20, 2012

L.A.M.D: Life After Missionary Departure

Jacob left last Wednesday. My best friend is officially gone for two years. In all reality I feel better than I thought I was going to. I miss him terribly and think about him almost as often as I think about eating food or finding a husband, but strangely enough it has not strangled the life out of me. If anything I am living at a faster pace and a more invigorated height than before.

For example, I just received two new callings in my awesome little singles ward. I am now the Ward Prayer Coordinator and the Relief Society Compassionate Service Leader. I'm still not really sure how to be the compassionate service leader in a singles ward since we don't really have any babies or death, but I am determined to figure it out! I have been much more outgoing with the smaller version of my ward now that it split and I have finally become okay with myself in no make-up! Yes, I know it took 20 years for it to happen but it did! I now can go places without make-up and not die where I stand. (Even if I am seen by cute boys.) I truly do believe that I am okay and someday I will find a boy that will think I am more than okay. I can't help but wonder, though, who he is and when in the world I will find him?

Another aspect of my life that is taking an unexpected twist is work. I am getting so that I can do drive-thru without having a panic attack or crying. Fantastic! Now just to get past the fear that still eats at me!

There are several rather cute boys in my singles ward. Despite the fact that I really am okay with being me, there is that nagging doubt that never seems to leave in the back of my head. If I'm okay, then why don't I date? At all?

Anyway, I won't let it get me down. No dating does not mean no happiness and it definitely doesn't mean that I don't have a lot to do in my ward to help people!

And to my dearest brother, Elder Munson, I love you and hope your mission is the best experience ever!